Life; split parenting, creativity, sexual abuse, multiple families, alcoholism, love, grief, drug addiction, suicide, materialism, simplicity, music, Natural State Living and social identities paint the picture of my world and the journey from unconscious living to conscious living.

The words that came to me at the time of writing is, “It’s time to share, time to share the totality of me.” Its time to step into all that I am and hold that space as an inspiring woman, not a victim, not a scared child, not a protector, not a numbed out 20 something year old, as a woman who knows the value of appreciating the power of accepting things as they are, trusting in that experience and receiving the gifts as well as the tragedies. 

I also felt that if there is an ‘about kelly’ page who better to write that than the person its about? It makes sense, really. However, I know the truth that can be captured when someone else feels into your story and brings it to life. We often don’t see some of our stuff, our own growth, our ego, our love, our expression, our expansion; this is where one of my beautiful friends steps in to illuminate those parts of the story. 

Life has been broad for me, broad in its offerings and in parts fragmented at its foundations. I grew up mostly with my mother who when I was 6 months old left my father to return home to Sydney. It was a brave move for Mum being on her own with a newborn baby while the love of her life was in another part of the country. We make our choices and I understand that they both were doing that in their own way. Mum has magic; a magic of seeing the beauty in things. Whether its sharing her home with friends, choosing her stylish look, being in the garden, looking out for others or keeping our home simple, filled with love and one of what we needed nothing more, nothing less. I never felt like we went without as I spirited my young self through those early years. That innocent time for me was filled with feeling happy, loved and content, the need for ‘things’ wasn’t on my radar. Roast chook, poodles, mum, friends, sport and music were my focus. Simple, free and light.

I travelled back and forth from Melbourne to Sydney at a young age to visit my Dad in the holidays and spend time with him in his restaurant in South Yarra. We would work the floor together, do shows, share our personalities and create that true feeling of a family run restaurant, in between top and tailing beans in the back kitchen. My memory of these times with Dad is much the same as with Mum, not a lot materially but again one of what we needed, nothing more, nothing less. To me there was no loss in this picture, as I never knew what it felt like to live with both parents, eat with both parents, grow up and share all those day-to-day things with both parents.

When I reflect on my child hood and my teens I see the fragmented existence that I experienced on an emotional and familial level. In my 11th year both my parents remarried, I was a short time away from moving to Melbourne to go to boarding school and spend time with my Dad, I was also entering my first year of high school in a different state and I was leaving my mum and my friends. A big time in a lot of ways, I’m not sure if I realised it at the time. The other and potentially most significant thing I was unknowingly leaving the silent cycle of sexual abuse I experienced from the age of seven at the hands of my stepfather; a life changing moment in some ways and new beginnings in another.

The abuse went on for some years under the radar of all those around us, weird how that works, it just happens so often and there is nothing uncommon about my story. Why I never said anything in those early years still remains a mystery, how much should a seven-year-old hold, well that too had a massive impact on my emotional, mental, spiritual and intimate relationship with myself and others. My stepfather was a sad man overall, finding his happiness in bottles of wine pretty much on a daily basis. Sometimes a friendly drunk but mostly controlling, belittling and demanding, a man who found his significance through putting other people down to stroke his own ego. I felt and feel for him because I know his story and the sadness, isolation and lack of love that rippled through his childhood, interesting as he repeated his own story in ways. I could write a book just on the experiences of growing through the sexual abuse that inhibited my being for so long and sometimes still pops up its head to check in. I know this part of me well and have spent much time as an adult working through these heart wrenching and emotionally challenging moments to get to where I am today.

We lost my sister in law to suicide when I was in my late 20’s and this took a massive toll on us all. It was also only three months after my stepfather had died so there was huge change in our family dynamics in a short amount of time. All the questions filter through your being for years to come, why, what if, if only, could I, did I do enough and so on. Suicide has many things stamped on it by society. I truly feel our journeys are destined and we all have a choice and the right to choose when enough is enough for ourselves, how can anyone else truly know, we are all different. We must learn to honour that in each other not condemn each other for it by calling it selfish or whatever else society chants out there. Do we really need to work it out or simply learn to accept something bigger is driving this thing called life?

I have a beautiful relationship with my mum. We have worked through the shit, denied the shit, danced around the shit, come to peace with the shit and grown through it to embrace what’s in front of us now and share beautiful, real and fun loving times together. It hasn’t been an easy journey but neither of us gave up and now we bathe in the benefits of courage, trust, truth and acceptance. I love her deeply, we have a unique bond that is admired by many and most important honoured by each other.

As for now, I feel alive in many things in my life and music is one of them. I love the creation, the production, the performance, the powerful connection and the sharing of music and it’s universal talk. The early days of my musical career saw the creation of Jhyn Rhythm; a high school rock band that left the nuns at our school shaking in their boots, especially when my lip raised Billy Idol impersonations rocked the school assemblies. The band just happened as a beautiful collaboration of young talent and self-expression meshing together without thought and with pure untouched hearts reaching for their dreams and passion for the world of rock stardom.

I left school a year earlier than the rest of my peers due to being “disruptive and influential”. I called it being yourself and speaking your mind, perhaps today it’s called leadership or following your heart. I ventured into the world of electronic music, dance parties and DJ’ing. It chose me and off I went on a journey that took me around Australia as a DJ and industry icon or ‘celebrity in the community’ as one of my late friends use to put it. This journey and the adventurous addictive side of myself took me down the road of what I call sex, drugs and techno. It was a beautiful platform for me to create but also numb myself from the still broken parts of my inner world. I felt like I was being exactly who I was meant to be, living in the moment, following the dream or the cocaine, ketamine, ecstasy, MDMA and the list goes on. My gut tells me that I was following the drugs and the identity more than the dream in those days. As I follow my dreams now that all becomes less and less my truth, my paradigm and my choice. Everything has its natural timing as we progress through the natural rhythm of consciousness. I feel that I was meant to be doing exactly that in my twenties, be twenty something.

I am happily back into my music these days after much resistance as I had a strong association of the music world being about drugs, however, as I cleaned up my vibration, met more of the inner me and surrendered to that I soon began to see that music is my calling, one of the vehicles I have chosen to share the message of Natural State Living by bringing consciousness to the dance floors and to the hearts of people. The power of fresh intention and experiencing the contrast of unconsciousness and consciousness through music and life is simply magnificent and allows the extent of my personal experiences to ignite change.

I have spent many years on the personal development circuit; that even sounds inspiring why wouldn’t you want to choose ‘personal development’. I had a blast doing the Tony Robbins thing and learning many life changing skills around human needs psychology, relationship dynamics, values, self empowerment and the like. I immersed myself in his teachings and moved through to his leadership teams coaching other people at events. Personal development has also encompassed the spiritual side of things. Wayne Dyer has been a huge influence among many other great speakers and authors. Nature, friends, self-evolution and the inspiration of other people being on their path has spurred me in the same direction. There is something about them, their energy is different, their presence deeper, you really feel them in the room, they are following their heart, their feelings and it shows.

I love that, the courage to be who you love to be, and that brings me to what I believe is my purpose. One day I asked myself the question what am I here for and from out of nowhere this clear energy like voice said without hesitation – you are here to inspire people to fall in love with life again by living in their natural state and being who they love to be. This moment felt so true, so real and amplified the 'innerness' of my being. I knew this was it, how beautiful to receive something that gives life to others and to myself. The NSL journey is my whole journey personally and purposefully. I intend to share this through music, television, clothing and my website so we can all experience the power of living in our natural state and in doing that shift global consciousness while Natural State Living becomes the new cool!

I have flowed through lots of human experiences in my lifetime and this contributes to what I feel are true credentials to open up and share my truth and the inspiration of NSL. I’ve lived with heroin addicts, travelled to exotic parts of the world, helped charities pack hampers at Xmas for the poor, passed out in night clubs, had lunch with Princess Diana and other dignitaries, opened my spiritual path, sold sandshoes, been in love, studied at NIDA, been a top sports player at school, been on road trips, played in a band, been heavily into the social drug scene, back packed in Africa, cleaned kitchens, been a celebrity DJ, spent time in multiple paradigms of life some inspiring, some dangerous, some life changing and some exuding peace and love. I’ve learnt about being and doing life, living for things outside of yourself and living for things inside of yourself, I’ve experienced loss, wealth, materialism, family expectation, simplicity, challenged myself, been scared of myself, felt lost, fearless, happy, connected, sad, suicidal, worthless, inspiring and the rest.

Now, I’m here to share my story to bring people forward in the power of living and sharing your truth. You will always be supported in that. The time is now wherever you are, however you feel, follow your heart, be who you love to be and allow your journey to take you through all the delicate weaving of your souls song, light and dark its all part of the dance. See you on the dance floor!